January

1:55 PM

"O Winter! frozen pulse and heart of fire,
What loss is theirs who from thy kingdom turn
Dismayed, and think thy snow a sculptured urn
Of death! Far sooner in midsummer tire
The streams than under ice. June could not hire
Her roses to forego the strength they learn
In sleeping on thy breast."

-  Helen Hunt Jackson


This sonnet really spoke to me. Read it over a couple times.

It's really easy to forget why Winter holds a beauty of her own. I admittedly forget myself, often wishing away the days and counting on towards warmer weather. I have a hard time living in the moment with cold toes and shut windows and dry air. It has seemed for two weeks we have been immersed in such a thick fog here that venturing out feels like a chore. I really haven't had much energy or drive to go anywhere! Not that I have been miserable at home, I have actually been very inspired to focus on my goals for the year with my Young Living business and also getting the nursery ready and dreaming about this gal I am growing. Generally, I have been beating the January blues and keeping a happy outlook by looking forward. It's just strange that half the year we plead for time to speed by, and the other half we plead for it to slow down...but that's Ontario weather for you!

Life lately has been pretty consumed by all things "baby". It's sort of like when you are planning a wedding and that takes over your life, except times ten. I remember naively wondering how can people forget that the world goes on outside of pregnancy and children. Once you're in the thick of it, it kind of doesn't! lol. No it does, but now everything I do has another consideration to it. So I probably annoy people by going on about pregnancy and baby and all the plans to come. It's something you really can't understand until you are walking that road yourself, but all our close people are also very excited too, so that helps for sure. Pregnancy is definitely the most "all-consuming" thing I've ever done. There are scary or anxious moments, but it's also absolutely the best thing ever and I think the most excited I've ever been about anything too.

We have been having lots of fun here at Emberly house getting excited for this girl's arrival in just 14.5 weeks. We were totally blown away by a full baby girl wardrobe gifted to us. One of my Young Living crossline members messaged me and asked if we wanted some baby girl clothes, saying she had some boxes of different sizes. I had just gone on a few second hand trips looking for clothes too so I had already bought a few things myself, and of course we had bought a couple cute things new after finding out the gender and also had some really cute things gifted to us. Needless to say, we went to her house to pick up the clothes and there were 6 big diaper boxes packed SO full from size 0-18. We were equally blown away by the wonderful condition of the clothes and how much they fall into our style too, which was just a bonus. So after feeling super grateful and laughing and delighting in all the super adorable tiny outfits, we quickly concluded we really seem to have all the clothes we need already and should probably cut off the clothes shopping, which helps us tons financially! Baby clothes prices are so silly! I can't believe a dress for me is cheaper than a dress for her! lol

There was a health scare a couple weeks back that amounted to nothing which we are obviously very grateful for! We thought my amniotic sac could possibly have a tear in it, which opens up a world of possibilities to worry about! Thankfully all was well when I went to get checked out. My midwife was so kind and accommodating. It wasn’t a pleasant drive at all while heading to Owen Sound to be looked at, and neither was the procedure to check things out, but I found myself tearing up at how well taken care of I felt even before I got the news that all was well. I love having a care provider on call 24/7 for any concerns…rather than having to go to the ER if something feels wrong and dealing with a stranger who doesn’t know me at all. We are so blessed in Ontario to have midwifery care covered by OHIP!

Last Saturday we went for a 3d Ultrasound to quickly "reconfirm" gender because I don’t know if I am just wired differently than most people, but I just can’t plan ahead for baby without being gender specific! I really was stating to worry “what if the December ultrasound was wrong?” and I just needed to know that this is for sure a girl lol. I don’t picture myself in the summer, when I am behind on cleaning this crazy house and tending to my garden and recovering and adjusting to a whole new schedule and lifestyle while not sleeping, having time to craft for the nursery and stuff like that. I just want it to be done so I can relax and enjoy baby (and naps) as much as possible through the summer. Maybe my neurotic personality in this area is linked to waiting soo long for these moments and opportunities to come to us and also not knowing how easy or hard it could be to have more kids in the future. I am just grateful for this gift and elated about this season right now, but when people say things like “no need to be spending all this time or money getting gender specific things, your next one could be a boy” or “time will fly so fast it’s not even worth that effort” they just really don’t see how much we are soaking up each and every second with this little girl. As much as I also want to be practical and of course not go overboard on spending (most of what we are doing is second hand or repurposed) part of me is still very aware that this took us over 4 years to get here…who knows what lies ahead for our family? I am not stressed about that, but my experience has just been so different than most. For us, talking about “having kids” is no longer something casual - it took us a lot of hard work, stress, worry, money, scheduling, traveling, medical intervention, discomfort, pain, etc. to even conceive this one, never mind to carry her and birth her and provide for her! So I think we are both maybe a little overboard for this little girl and getting everything ready for her arrival because we don’t want to miss the joy in these moments in order to save money or efforts for “future kids” that we have no idea if and when will come, if that makes any sense. I know many people comment that we will probably start popping them out now, but the reality is that is not promised. We had lots of people say “when you stop trying, it will happen” or stuff like that, and let’s just say that definitely was not accurate haha. I just want to enjoy every moment and be able to do what I have wanted to do for a long time! So if I come off as a little crazy in my efforts, just remember I’ve had way too long to think about this stuff…and I don’t take a single moment for granted because I truly do not know if these moments will come again. I have hope that they will…but all I know is God promised me a child, and I always believed He would be true to that promise. The rest? I have no idea! But again, I am not at all worried about it. As Marilla would say, “Providence knows best.” (My Anne plug for the day). Oh, and to sum up, we had it confirmed to us that she is very much a girl! Yay! I don’t think I’ve ever seen Scott more excited about anything ever…it’s been such a fun season preparing for her arrival and the 3.5 months until our due date is bound to fly by!

Our dogs Meadow and Milo have been acting a little strange - getting very protective over me and even fighting with each other for the prime spot near my belly. I have been discouraging any bad behaviour from them but am also a little relieved - I would rather them be protective of baby than jealous and angry at baby. Protective over baby will be easy enough to deal with...mostly they will fight with each other lol like they do over a bone or dropped food and although it's never a joyous time, it isn't really a big deal...they don't hurt each other but typically are just trying to win whatever they are fighting over. I am going to be researching a lot over the coming months how to properly introduce baby and how to prepare dogs for this new season. Meadow is pretty OCD and does not like change. Milo rolls with anything and doesn't mind babies at all. I am sure it will just be a process.

I have a lot of projects on the go or about to be on the go for the coming months. Other than the purchase of our beautiful white iron crib which was a gift, so technically not a purchase we made, we have mostly decided to thrift for scores for the nursery, or craft things ourselves, or simply pull stuff from the basement. Our basement has become a little thrift store of it's own haha...I will score sweet finds and then realize I have nowhere for them and they end up down there - probably Scott's biggest pet peeve right now, and understandably so. We really need to purge. We can sum up our spending for baby so far with this word: material. Material for the crown moulding project, material for our cloth diapers, material to reupholster the nursery glider, paint for walls and furniture re-do's, fabric for sewing projects, etc. It's been fun...and also, it's crazy how expensive fabric is! I always think buying baby clothes is so expensive, which it is, but making them is hardly even cheaper, if at all. Such a crazy world we live in ;) I am taking the year off and since I am self-employed, we have to be resourceful and only spend when totally necessary. It's more fun and sentimental to craft and repurpose things - at least in my mind!

Thought I am taking the year off from photography, my home business with Young Living essential oils will still be going strong. I love that those hours of work are completely flexible and generally can be put in right from my computer or phone - travel isn't 100% necessary. It's been really exciting this month alone, which is normally a really slow month for all businesses, to see how much momentum our team has. For me, I really could not do this I don't think with another network marketing company. I just can't get totally stoked and on board about bags or make-up or kitchen stuff. I can't convince myself it's life changing to find the perfect cover-up shade, never mind try to convince other people haha. But with essential oils, I am totally all-in because I have experienced so many changes for myself and have been so blessed by these little bottles - a gift from nature for my body that works from the inside, out. They really ground me and bring me into this sense of understanding that I too am a part of nature and creation - and my body loves when I give it things that are natural. I notice a huge difference in my moods, my energy, how I feel each day when I am using oils regularly...and there is no "crash" or addictive properties or withdrawals or anything like that. It's just totally refreshing and empowering and fresh. EO's are just wonderful and I am so blessed to have found these products and this business! I can't talk about it enough or rave about the difference they've made in my life enough.

Here are some images from the past while!


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1 comments

  1. Samantha, you are too cute as a pregnant momma! You are so right - being pregnant, carrying this precious baby growing inside of you for 9 months - it is magical indeed. And your thoughts are taken up with the future, the ever changing present and the changes to come. I do not blame you for wanting to be ready - I always feel that way too. I do not want any projects for the first few months - just want to relish in the newness of a baby and the sweetness of their being. Enjoy these last 3.5 months!

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